*tap* *tap* ahem...?
I've been thinking about writing again. I've been listening to a podcast about writing again and they talk a lot about the importance of blogging. I should fully disclose, however, that this podcast series started back in 2014 when blogging was still a thing. I understand it's evolved a lot in the 12 year hiatus from which I now find myself sleepily waking. Still, they have a point. And I remembered that I actually did DO have a blog. I found it. It actually let me log in. And what was sitting in my unpublished drafts from 12 years ago is the below that I will now post to the web-world as if a time capsule were being opened before our very eyes.
It was incredible to read this after so much time had passed and to realize I still believe every word of this and would WILL still hit 'publish' today. I don't even know why I didn't publish it in the first place.
Quick Facts:
What has changed since then? This article was written pre-child-having. I now have 1 daughter who is 8 years old. The Biggest Loser is no longer on TV. Also, more technically, I did a spell-check and fixed some things in the text to catch up to my more sophisticated 12 years later self.
What hasn't changed? The theme of change still resonates so deeply in me today. Also, everything else not mentioned in the "what has changed" line above.
So here it is. And maybe I'll post again before 2034.
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I am inspired by people who want to change.
It's why I love watching The Biggest Loser. It's why I always get a little teared up at a baptism. It's why I love Jesus ~ not because he wants to change, but because he inspires me to change. It's why I want to live a better story.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.Romans 12:12
My husband and I do not have children yet. We've only been married just less than a year. But when we do... I have such plans for them. I want my children to know the real joy of walking with God. I want them to know that Christianity is not exclusively lived out by sitting in the pews of their local congregation 2-3 times a week. I want them to be active givers in their community and I want them to give the glory to God. I want them to learn this way of life from their parents. I want them to grow up in a home that sacrifices for the cause of Christ. I want for them a heart that wants to give, rather than receive, on their birthdays, on holidays, and every other day of the year. I want them to understand that God alone is their provider, and that everything they have can be shared with their neighbor, their classmate, their friend, their enemy... the world.
The only problem with these "wants" is probably the one that falls smack-dab in the middle of it all - learning these things from their parents. This is not who I am today. At least not in practice. In my heart, yes. I believe these are ideals that I strive to attain. But doing them is the hard part. When your ideals and your actions are in conflict, you have to make a choice. You can either give up on your ideals, or give in. I've decided I will not give up. But of course that means giving in. And oh, what an overwhelming concept this is. So instead of giving up, I believe I can start small. One decision at a time, one moment at a time. It is my hope that over the years, those moments will add up to a lifetime of "giving in" and it will look and feel more like a lifestyle over time.
Call it my conscience. Call it guilt. Call it crazy. Call it whatever you want. But I hope you will call it what I do ~ the Holy Spirit prodding me that now is the time to live a better story. In fact, I hope at some point I could be called crazy. I think that might be better than the safe and ineffective life I am living now. I would be in good company, I know for a fact. History confirms that those who are called "crazy" make more of an impact in their world than those who play it safe. I don't have to name any inventors, martyrs, saints, disciples, apostles, missionaries, or other heroes to prove this point. We're all thinking of some crazy "someone" now who changed our world.
So I guess what I'm saying is this: while it is generally accepted that people prepare for children by saving money, buying a bigger home, registering at Target, and hunting for safe school districts, I want to do more than that. I want to start preparing for children by becoming more involved at the local rescue mission. I want to commit myself to the joy of giving on my birthday rather than receiving. I want to bring the gospel to the women in our local jail. I want to give the hope of heaven to those who are suffering and enduring the pain of broken bodies in this life. I want to stop being afraid what a changed life would mean financially, and start living day to day under the sole provision of God. And I want to go further than I can even imagine in this moment. And someday, I want to pass that on to my children. So that one day, when I am no longer on this earth, I will leave knowing that the work is still being done, and that I gave some small contribution to its proliferation.
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