five years later

I don't remember when I finally stopped looking up to the sky at airplanes flying overhead and wondering if it was headed for a building. I just know that at some point I did. Those days, it felt like things would never be the same. It felt like I'd never look at an airplane the same way again. I remember the first anniversary. I was driving to work and listening to the radio. They were having a moment of silence at 8:46. At that moment I saw a commercial plane fly overhead. I remember thinking, "God bless 'em - they are so brave."
Today I flew from Tampa to Nashville on Southwest. It was fairly non-eventful. And I was thankful.
We never know what each day will bring us. Whether safety or tragedy or status quo. But I do remember a very specific thought I had on the evening of 9/10/01. It was sunset and I was walking with my mom. I was wondering about my future and how things would work out. I was tempted to worry. To have anxiety over a new chapter in my life. I was moving from Tampa to Nashville. No job was promised. No exciting life was definite. I was wondering if I was making the right decision. But I scrapped it all to say to myself, God is in control. And I looked back on that thought the next morning, and many more mornings after that. And I still believe in scrapping all the worry, all the unknowns, for the peaceful truth that my future is in His hands.