March 05, 2007

panic! at the clinic

I finally went to the Minute Clinic today to get my Hepatitus B vaccination. I am going to Panama in 4 1/2 months. I knew this vaccine required 3 doses, several months apart, so I really should have gotten on this about 2 months ago. Oops.

Anyways, I get there and the nurse says, "So what's goin' on today?" I say, "oh, I just need to get a vaccine because I am traveling this summer." She looks at me kinda sketchy-like and then I observe her physically switching gears in her head. She expected me to be sick I think.

"Which vaccine do you need?"
"Hepatitus B"
"hmmm...I don't normally work this clinic. I hate working in other people's clinics. I don't know where anything is. Bare with me."
"Yes ma'am."
"You need to sign a vaccination authorization. I don't know where they keep those here"...her voice trails off as she rummages through cabinets in non-lit closets."
"Sure thing."
"Have you been here before?"
"No ma'am."
"Ok, we'll have to put everything in the system then..."
"Yes ma'am."

Several minutes later.

"I don't even know if we have any Hepatitus B on hand."
"Oh! Here's one!"
"It's Merck...not Smith Kline"
"Is that a problem?"
I am internally chuckling, by the way.
"It's ice-cold though."
"Sounds chilling."
"Yup. I'll warm them up for you." She starts rolling tiny bottles of deathly virus in her hands.
"Thanks!" I do prefer a warm virus, after all.

The rest is pretty boring. I got my vaccine. I'll be back on April 4 to get my second dose. I'll have to wait until I get back from Panama to get my final dose. The nurse did not seem to think this would be a problem. "You'll have 2 doses in you." Verbatim. I'm feeling confident. I'll just be sure not to handle any blood, change any diapers, or have sex with any of the locals.

This is a mission trip after all.


At 9:17 AM, Blogger Brian Nicklaus said...

so, you mean if I get a hep-b vax, I won't have to change any diapers....hmmmmmmmm

At 9:54 AM, Blogger Emily said...

no...if you get the vax you are SAFE to change diapers, and do all that other stuff...
since I won't have the full vax it would be better for me to refrain from those activities.
Speaking strictly from a health-standpoint, of course. :)

At 9:05 AM, Blogger John H said...

best ending ever.

This post is an example of why you need to blog regularly.

Seriously. And oh yeah, Switch to Wordpress! Lynnster will do all the heavy lifting..(o;

At 12:02 PM, Blogger hwy said...

I'm with John H. On the blogging regularly thing, that is. He and I are not dating or anything, despite what you may have heard.

I always hone in on one little bon mot in your postings. This time, it was "I do prefer a warm virus, after all."

And THAT, lovey, is why you win.

At 12:20 PM, Blogger John H said...

dear hwy - did you have to dump me in public, sheeesh.

Emily - listen to hwy..

At 1:13 PM, Blogger Emily said... guys are killin' me! Ironic, too, considering I have a small dose of Hep-B running around my system.
Holly: thank you for introducing me to 'bon mot'
John: you're married. get over it.


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